Wah Crazy English..!

Wah Crazy English..!

Recently there was a report which said In India English has become 2nd Major language. Barring Hindi, most people who speak other Indian Languages use English as main language and their mother tongue as secondary or even third language.

Bengali which was first language after Hindi went to third place and gave its 2nd place to English!

In India, 55, 14.00,000 people use Hindi Language while 12, 50, 00,000 people speak English. English Speaking people are twice in numbers in India when compared to Briton.

Though it is funny language we love and speak it even more than Englishmen!

I, still remember my school days. When I was studying in High School my Teacher Mr. Angri Shankara Bhat, of course he was Hindi Teacher used to explain the specialties of English.

'English is such a language where we write one thing and read another whereas in Kannada or any other Indian Language we read what we wrote. For example the word ‘Psychology’ which we prounce as 'Sychology'.

In a funny way he used to say 'navu oduvudu sychology bareyuvudu piskalogy.

In the same way for word 'walking' we read as 'waking' but write as 'walking' (Oduvudu waking, bareyuvudu Walking).

One Interesting mail from my friend B.K. Ganesh, remembered me my school days where enjoyed these funny specialties of English.

I don't know who is the author of this mail or writer of funny write-up below. But definitely it is interesting to read. Pls enjoy it. I thank B.K. Ganesh for forwarding this mail.

UNDONE..!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England ..We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English could be running the danger of being called verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet that smell.

We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway. And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

I WOULD LIKE TO ADD THAT IF PEOPLE FROM POLAND ARE CALLED POLES THEN

PEOPLE FROM HOLLAND SHOULD BE HOLES AND THE GERMANS GERMS!!!

-Nethrakere Udaya Shankara